Looks

I needed to get it off my chest. I really cannot stand people who openly criticise someone’s looks. You simply do not go around saying such things or writing such nasty comments about someone being ugly. You do not.

In light of the recent viral post about a couple’s ruined wedding photos, I came across another post of some supposedly better photos taken by the photographer. What irked me were the comments I read on that post.

You should never say that someone looks ugly. Not when you are angry, not when you feel there is injustice, not ever. ‘No matter how much good photographers take good photos of them, they are just not photogenic at all’. That was one sentence I thoroughly disliked aside from the first sentence that told them straight out that they were ugly. No matter how angry you are, you don’t say insensitive words to others.

Even if a person were a murderer, and her character wasn’t pretty at all, I feel that people have no right to call someone ugly. If someone’s heart turns black, that is his or her own choice. But even if their face is black, it was not their choice at all. It wasn’t in their control.

I’m not talking about any plastic surgery. People aren’t born with looks that they could choose. Even if someone has a mole in the middle of their face, isn’t photogenic, has ‘small eyes’, or looks disfigured, you have absolutely no right to criticise them for it. Who are you to define who they are? Does ‘ugly’ make them bad? Are ‘pretty’ people good? If you were born blind, would you like being reminded of that all the time? Does that make you a better person? Are you above them because of that?

Moreover, who are you to define what beauty is? Society’s standards for beauty have become so ridiculously unrealistic that people are starting to find definition and self-worth from it. “She’s popular because she’s pretty.” “He’s handsome and athletic and he’s just so perfect.” “He has no talent but he’s unbelievably handsome and sculpted.” Is he good only because he has looks? If someone were untalented and ugly at the same time, would that person have been called useless? Also, what are high nose bridges, big eyes, double eyelids and V-shaped chins? How many people are actually born with everything? Those people are incredibly blessed so if you happen to be one of them, appreciate it. But have you ever thought of why society defines these features as pretty? We were the ones to create these standards of beauty; our perceptions decided that a girl with all those features was pretty and a girl without double eyelids was ugly. Who said so? You.

How did we come to such a stage where we criticised someone’s looks to such an extent? Westerners tend to have high nose bridges in their genes while more Asians have flat noses. It’s been observed. Sure, but that doesn’t make the West prettier than the East. It does not make a particular society or culture better than another. These standards of beauty – big eyes – are defined by us. We openly criticised people for being ugly because they didn’t have something. “You’d look better with bigger eyes.” Did anyone choose to look like that? Did anyone choose to have ‘unappealing features’ that we ourselves created? We basically put ourselves down. We ended up judging ourselves and being pressured into standards that we ourselves have come up with and agreed upon. Why did we bring such unhappiness to ourselves?

Nobody chose to look the way they look. People love each other because of each other’s lovely characters, not they way they appear. They love each other because of passion and emotions, not because someone’s beautiful small eyes tend to turn into twinkly crescents when she laughs.

When you criticise someone for their looks, you not only hurt their pride, but you make an ugly choice yourself.

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