1) I’m proud to announce that I’ve successfully completed my dance concert last Saturday! It was an extremely enriching experience performing for the first time on stage and I was absolutely feeling the heat of nervousness upon me whilst I was excited to dance to the crowd. It was a pity that I wasn’t able to spot the people who meant the most to me in the crowd, but nevertheless I know I did my best and I’m glad I ended my 1.5 years of dance in JC with a blast.
However, the emptiness is setting in. No more dance practice 3 times a week. The very thought makes me feel a void opening up in me and that’s detrimental to my sad soul because I already have huge voids to fill without needing a new one. Without realising, I’d grown a lot closer to the dancers and I’ve enjoyed my journey even though there were times it was tough and times when I enjoyed it immensely. It makes the ending bittersweet. Sweet because I ended with a slam, but bitter because I really want more time to spend with these amazing people. I really want to continue dancing, to dance for the Lord, to express music and emotions in the form of movement and expression. Music comes alive when it is outwardly expressed, and I think that couldn’t be more true in ‘living dance, dancing lives’ – the title of our show. I was very grateful to the people who came down to support me, and I felt a lot of love and appreciation from them.
“Dancing can reveal all the mystery that music conceals.” – Charles Baudelaire
Here are some minimalistic photos I’ve taken with the flowers I’ve received from the concert. I will not be posting photos of my dance, but it was a fantastic show and I think it made me appreciate my time a lot more. In a flash, I’ve gone through the hard times and the pleasant times. I’ve gone through more than 1.5 years in JC and I’m almost at the end of my journey. I’m almost ready to pen a new chapter of my life. And that thought alone, is very refreshing indeed.
2) Thoughts, Feelings and Reactions
Everything starts with a thought. Your feelings are stimulated with a thought and you react from there. You are what you think.
I’ve had this viewpoint for quite some time. Although I’m not revealing it, but there is an element in my life which makes me think a lot about it. This year, I have gained an interest in a few people. I emphasize on ‘interest’; it is not a crush nor a liking. It was unable to develop to that stage but it was able to bud. Sometimes, it becomes on and off. I remember the feelings very well. I remember the time I was so down that everything was depressing and horrible; the time when everything went well and I was hopeful; the time when I was free and basically trying to find my place; the time when I didn’t care about anything and just wanted to focus on what was more important (but that didn’t end too well either). I really remember the feelings well. The pain makes me want to withdraw. The longing makes me want to try.
“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you make them feel.” – Maya Angelou
How true this is. I don’t remember what exactly happened years ago that instigated all the emotions. I don’t remember the exact words nor the way it went. But the aching pain is still etched in me. There are many memories that are filled primarily with the emotions that I’m unable to forget – the excitement, hope, thrill, fear, pain, dejection and disappointment. I feel the dread of my thoughts and the fire of my soul. I feel the living spirit in me and the dying embers of the fire of strength. I feel the hopelessness and the determination all at the same time.
I dream a lot, in fact, too much. Most of the time, it simply makes me miserable in reality because my dreams are often perfect and of course unreal. It makes reality suck a lot more. But I sucked that up; I had to move forward, I had to let go of whatever I hoped for, and I had to keep going on.
“In order to move on, you must understand why you felt what you did and why you no longer need to feel it.” – Mitch Albom, Five People You Meet In Heaven
Let go, let live.
3) The third part is nothing much but a photo essay of my life after the exams. I’ve taken more pictures and while some are repetitive, I embrace each and every picture in its own beauty. I hope you’re able to look into every single photo and feel it for itself. I hope you judge a photo not simply by how it looks, because a photo stimulates a thought, a feeling, and a reaction.
The last picture is inspired by Jeffrey Chung. He’s an amazing photographer and I bought a nude leotard, a formal white shirt and a black leotard a few weeks back for my dance concert, hence the photo. The original idea is Jeffrey’s and no copyright infringement is intended.