There’s this person I know.
She’s comfortable and contented with being alone. Every time there’s people around, she finds some way of staying in her own little world, of being at peace with herself, of not being influenced by the world and the society around her. She’s strong enough for that. She doesn’t do things the conventional way; she doesn’t follow whatever the world does. She is herself, and she’s unique. That’s why she keeps to herself, because she’s different on the inside, and most people wouldn’t ever know.
She gets lonely sometimes, not because she’s not comfortable being alone, but because things have happened in her life that has left a big gaping hole in her which leaves her feeling empty. It’s not because she can’t find solitude in herself, but that hole needs to be healed before she can go about feeling filled and satisfied all the time. She’s looking for that. She doesn’t need assurance that she is different because she knows she is. She needs assurance that there are people whom she can trust always, because too many people has left her and left her feeling empty and abandoned. Insignificant. Incompetent. Inferior.
There’s also this problem when she finds big problems in talking to people of the opposite gender. There’s a small amount of guys that she can comfortably talk to, but they’re not that close. They are closer than the other people around her because she can talk to them about more things, but they’re not the kind of people with close friendships either. For the rest of the guys, she faces enormous pressure when talking to them. It’s like she’s anti-social. She wants to feel normal and she tries her best to talk to people. But she can’t really think of interesting topics to talk about and she can’t really be humorous because it’s not in her nature. In a short while she begins to feel extremely stressed and pressurised talking to the guys and hence she begins to feel like withdrawing into her hole. She wants to be alone, to seek her comfort within herself in her own world, and she wants to feel peace again. She doesn’t want to be pressured to interact with people, because she doesn’t need that many friends, and she already has a group of close girl friends that are her best friends and that she can talk to about anything and everything under the sun. That’s enough. For now.
It’s an anti-social tendency. She’s aware of it and she’s worried. She knows it’s not good for her because you can’t survive in this world on your own; you need friends everywhere, and you’ll move on from wherever you were. In the new places you’re at, you need new friends and new people whom you can trust. She fully understands that, and so she tries her best. Puts in a lot of effort. But usually she just comes off as boring or weird and she’s eventually left alone. Again. It’s both a good and bad thing, because she has that peace of mind again, but yet, she wasn’t able to strike a conversation with someone else, and that someone would have had some sort of an impression on her already. They’re not interested in her, and that feeling sucks.
She tries. Again and again. It’s a relentless, never-ending cycle of finding out about people and trying to fit in. She doesn’t need a boyfriend because she can be fine alone. But of course, deep inside, she’s looking companions who can understand her and accept her for who she is. That’s all. She wants to be happy like the others. She isn’t asking for much, but somehow, things turn out to be really hard. Something so simple for others is so difficult for her.
And there are these kind of people in the world, in all four corners of the earth. They’re out there, mingling with the crowd, and yet they’re unnoticed, battling with themselves. Is there compassion on these people? Most people don’t really bother because they have their own friends and they interact easily, so they tend to overlook these people. But they exist. If it’s possible, help them, because it’s the help that you give that will make them open up when they find a close friends whom they can trust. They can be very open as well, but it takes a lot, it takes a while, and it takes you to be a close friend to them to see that side of them. It exists within them, because they’re not all that different. The only difference is that they interact with difficulty. Once you get past that torturous stage, you see them as a normal person. Because you’ve accepted them, because they’ve been accepted. And that always makes people feel warm.
She’s still trying. Something happened yesterday that makes her anti-social tendency come out and makes her want to be alone. She’s rather alone now except for her best friends supporting her. She’s the most normal out of all her friends. Don’t judge her, because she’s a down-to-earth, extremely kind-hearted girl with the right morals and beliefs. She knows what she’s like and what she wants. She’s a very good friend, if only people would let her.
Would you let her?
There’s this person I know.