Today is a lullaby, yesterday was history

Today was such an amazing day.
Dance practice started early in the morning even before school started. I really loved the concept of our flash mob and I liked our Chinese New Year item, so naturally I was very excited and looking forward to performing it well. It was cool, it was hot, it was a lot of fun…
Besides somehow somewhat bearable lessons, the CCA fair during which we did our flash mob and our CNY item was completely heated and buzzing with activity, and it’s safe to say that dance has been absolutely successful ^_^ So many people watching our flash mob plus more running to watch us, and gathering so many people to the second floor to watch our CNY dance item. We managed to attract so many people to the auditions as well. I’m so glad I have my team members who all did a great job~ I really love the people in my year, and I really like the atmosphere in dance now. It made me happy, it makes me happy. I hope to feel this kind of enthusiasm throughout the year as we prep for our big concert. Feeling down and frustrated over being left out in dance last year didn’t help, and it was my fault, so I would be the one to change how I feel about everything.
Today I also saw an anonymous post about someone being teased in school and suffering from child abuse at home.
The person was literally begging everyone to stop teasing him because he is suffering at home and he doesn’t have it well too. He also has some issues with his self-confidence and self-esteem. That aside, I do think it was brave of him to speak out even if he did it anonymously. Because child abuse is no joke… I have experienced it before and I think that the terror and the fear unconsciously creeping up on every muscle of your body and every corner of your darkened heart is no joke. It can’t be helped but yet it is so terrifying. You see someone you knew, someone you trusted, someone who ‘took care of you’ treating you like rubbish. Treating you like dirt and trampling all over you. Treating you like a punching bag and abusing the power they have and inflicting both physical and emotional wounds all over you, leaving you feeling bruised even if you aren’t really physically bruised.
It’s no pretty sight.
It’s not something to experience either.
It is my opinion, though, that suffering does make you realise a lot more things than you would have at that point in time. It did make me mature, it made me wiser, it made me softer, but it made me stronger as well. Looking back, I don’t know how I survived it all, because times were hard and when constant pain and sadness is carried on your back, every day is a challenge.
Every day is still a challenge, trying to juggle work, dance and rest. What else can come into this equation? Social life, play, CIP? There is so much to be done and yet seemingly so little time. But living a busy yet fulfilled life does feel good sometimes. It makes you feel like you’re using your time well, that you’re learning and doing something useful or productive at some point in time and you’re not guiltily wasting time away. But it is physically and mentally draining, and I haven’t been thinking because of that. Thinking of how I feel at a point in time like this. Thinking about what I’m really doing all these for. Thinking of how I feel towards certain people. Thinking of how things are going. Thinking about things that I dream of.
Every goal is a dream with a deadline. I read this somewhere and I gotta admit, it’s kind of true. There is a time limit for you to achieve a goal, but a dream knows no boundaries. It’s so free, so happy, so relaxing, it’s somewhere I’m at almost 24/7.
I think I get by with dreams recently. I think dreams make reality a little more bearable. I think dreams are beautiful.


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