They’re supposedly good for some reason. Good to control one, to ensure one’s safety, to guard and look after someone, to show an annoying form of care to someone. Sure, there are good intentions, but overdoing it really gets on one’s nerves. It makes one want to rebel all the more, to do something against the restriction, to do it more without the person actually knowing. Because restrictions make one feel very suffocated, restricted of course, and limits one’s mobility to do what he or she may really like and want to do.
I feel that someone I know is being really restrictive. There is something I would like to do with ease, but that isn’t possible at all because of restrictions. I do understand the person’s good intentions and care and all but I do think that the person could give me a little more freedom… that way I won’t be such a bad kid. I don’t want to be one, but in order to pursue my own dream, do I have to do something that I don’t really want to do? What’s the point in doing that?
Ever since a very long time ago I had been restricted from almost everything by this person, and there was increasingly never a space to breathe and do what I wanted to do freely. Everything I wanted to do, this person would inquire about every single detail. I understood all along but I feel like going against it, just because I feel like it and there are things I want to freely do. I could do it more freely and openly to the person if not for the restrictions and disagreements. I could be a better person, doing what I liked without actually feeling bad about it. That’s what’s good, but I don’t have that.
It was only recently that some of the restrictions have disappeared, but also not entirely, and I realised that the grip it has on me is still quite strong and influential. It’s still holding me tight, not letting me do the things I have to do and want to do. The intentions are undoubtedly good, but there are always good and bad situations resulting from things that people do. So would what I do be good or bad, and would the restrictions end up well or badly? What would be the result? Would it be really well, or is there something which will go wrong just because of many factors?
It’s a dilemma, a thoroughly difficult decision. From all directions there are pushes and pulls, the restrictions just being one of the drawbacks, and I can’t seem to see any easy way of escapade. There is no way, in fact, and I’m facing this which I somewhat enjoy and yet worry about. So what do I do and where do I go from here? Taking advice from people only helps a little, and there is so much to consider that sometimes I just want to draw back into myself and live by myself.
I have a dream of staying in the countryside when I grow up. I’m not fond of the cities although they could be fine at times, and I really like to live alone, far away from people and busy things. By alone I don’t mean just by myself, although that is possible, but hopefully with people I like and am comfortable with. I want to be able to share happy things with people in our happy carefree life, not worrying so much about the business and the immorality of life but rather appreciating each other and everything that we have. It’s a dream almost non-existent in such times right now, but why not keep that hope? Why not give it a try and pursue it? It’s a good dream with good intentions, and I don’t see anything bad about it. But there are restrictions right now at this point in life, and while I can’t help some, I do think that some could be lifted… that I can actually have a chance and leave the rest in His hands. It’s a special thing I want to do, something which makes me happy, and something I probably am hoping for without even being conscious of.
When you see the vastness of the world, you know just how much you can do, just how you want to live your dreams and be free and happy. You could do anything with the one you love, with the one who loves you, and with your own abilities and perseverance. There is so much humans can do for themselves and for the people around them. It takes time, but it is a hope that everyone harbours that keeps everyone going. At that dream and hope runs freely, not tied down by anything at all, and gives people the sense of longing and real hope.
In this context restrictions really dampen our mood. They make us worry and makes us doubt our own abilities. Why put people down like that when they really want something? Restrictions put off people and also creates many secrets within a person because they can’t express what they really feel in fear of the restrictions. So in the end the truth never gets out, and the secrets are never revealed. Sometimes, if they are, they’re revealed too late. Or mostly in an undesirable fashion. But that’s not what the world should be. That’s something people always avoid but ultimately always cause it to happen as well.
Don’t let restrictions put you down. Maybe I should be saying this to myself as well. Somehow, try to break through it and not do things against it. Break through, do what you want to do, be who you want to be, and live how you want to live your life.