Darkness

Today was an eventful day.
Was it the most eventful day of my life?
The worst day of my life?
It was definitely the worst CNY.
If today can be even called CNY.

Too many horrors, too many confusions, too much sadness.
I can’t fathom. Human behaviour is really strange. It’s something I have yet to comprehend. How do humans react to different treatments, different behaviours, different situations, different moods? Is there a fixed way of reacting? I think not. Humans have a choice as to how to react. Reaction is a choice. A choice to go with what people will expect, or to go against psychology and react in a different way. A less rational way, but maybe a more sensible and better way. A way which will not harm people. After all, everyone has a choice. Everyone has a choice as to how to treat others. How to behave. How to control oneself.
Controlling oneself is self-discipline. When one provokes you, do you immediately get angry and scold the other party? But that is the typical reaction, isn’t it? It’s irrational and unaccepted by society, but it’s the most normal thing anyone would first do.
We are choices ourselves. We choose who we want to be, how we want to present ourselves, which way we want to go, what we want to do, when we want to do things. We have full control over ourselves, our lives. This includes attitude and behaviour. We have control over it. It’s part of us, isn’t it? It’s part of who we are, part of the presentation of ourselves, part of any perception of us.

Her behaviour today should be counted as rational. Is it irrational? On the surface it does seem irrational, but using the simplest equation, her behaviour is rational. But overboard.
Physical violence should never be used. Not on the ones you claim to love. This word, love, what is it really? If there’s a little of it, is it a valid reason to show any ugliness in oneself? If there’s none, is it a reason to kill?
No right?
Most people would say no.
But when we really get into such situations, we’re all blinded, and we say yes. Yes. This is why sin prevails. We can’t help it. But after all, it is us, it is ourselves, and we can control ourselves.
The level of love for someone should never be used as a reason for anything evil.
For anything bad to prevail.
Because love has no boundaries. The levels aren’t clear. Who knows, the assumption that there is none might be, in actual fact, just a little little bit.
So we’d have wronged ourselves.
Why commit such a crime when we are selfish people who will inevitably do things for our own sake?

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